10.30

I remember hating coming here. I had surgery on both my feet a few years back, and my doctor recommended a few weeks of physical therapy once everything had healed. First off, the surgery killed off any remaining dance ability my feet held. Plus, the recovery time spent on crutches depleted all muscle mass I had in my ankle region. So, these appointments were frustrating.

I couldn’t pull a rubber band. I couldn’t push their hand. I couldn’t even balance on one foot for longer than ten seconds. And this is from a girl who spent fifteen years studying formal ballet. I was embarrassed. And I’m embarrassed that I still haven’t recovered fully. Of course, that might have been my fault.

I know I needed the surgery eventually. And it was better for my health and recovery to do it before my body started decaying. But I never expected to lose 90 % of my physical ability. Pretty early on, I lost hope and sort of gave up. It kept me in a rut and that significantly hindered my PT. I still can’t do half the things I used to, but my pain is gone. And that’s probably a positive for moving forward.